Episode two & three

Two

On thursday, i gave up the opportunity of seeing you. This never happened before. Because? Because i don't want to see you. Because? Because i want to keep away from you. Because i want to punish you. Because i sometimes need to believe. Because i give up. Because i'm scared.

I didn't see you eventually. It was a good opportunity but i let it go. I don't feel bad. I think, after all it might be a right thing to do.



Three

On Friday, i wanted to say "i really like to talk to you." just like what you said before. I like it. Don't know why. You are not particularly fun or humorous, and not articulate too. Are you good looking? Maybe but not very very. I don't know why.

And then today, i'm so excited to hear the email arrival sound on my computer (just like the beep sound i received in early april after my lesson. It was you who made my day.) just now. I read it with a smile. Feels good. Your messages/ emails are always light. I like it. But i started my old bad habbit to read between the lines too much. I started to think, how come his response is like this? Did i spoil him? What kind of impressin did i give him? Oh my god. I begin thinking too much. I don't like this but i can't control. I have to stop myself.